If I were an emcee/sanger, part I

If I were an emcee I'd rhyme over THIS on my mixtape. But that's probably why I wouldn't be good at emceein'/sangin'.


ps- i know a few of you emcee's visit this place *cough* donwill *cough* von pea *cough* che *cough* mike baker *cough* trackademicks *cough* so i dare y'all to spit over this. don't be afraid. be men. punk asses.

This entry is dedicated to ..

Saturday nights.
And Sunday mornings.
And the pains of being grown.
And the pains of soreness.
And the pains of bad backs.
And asian cinema.
And Chow's wardrobe.
And sexy, stylish, womens attire.
And a return from a long/short excursion.
And the demise of toughies.
And to walking away before the gate is locked.
To what never was but will always be.

And if you don't get it, then shut up.
And by shut up I mean I love you.



dear jesus & santa:

this year i was (somewhat) well behaved. i didn't get arrested. i didn't get pregnant. and i did not smoke crack. that whole guitar thing in denver was self defense .. i swear. i also kept my penis away from random vaginas and drank very little. so please look over my list and bless me with all of my lil' wants and desires.

mason jars (to drink water out of on hot summer days)
a tweed blazer (to get my old man on with)
an earthtoned down or insulated vest (to wear over my tweed blazer on cold winter days, i have a vision damnit)
city of men dvd
issues 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 of preacher
shirts, preferably poplin, in classic colors (blues, whites and traditional stripes)
trench coat from uni qlo
black overcoat from wherever makes good black overcoats.
lifetime unlimited metrocard (or a month. or a week. shit, can a fool get a fun pass??)
sexy time pants
sexy time denim
vans & chucks or chucks & vans
some scarves and some gloves
ties (preferably skinny)
mac n cheese, chicken and waffle dinner (please? i'm hungry.)
prescription lenses for my three big ugly glasses that have no lenses at all
a 3 piece boateng suit (not gonna happen)
macbook pro (not gonna happen)
an investor (not gonna happen but lord knows i need it)
a trip to paris (not gonna happen)
a trip to london (not gonna happen)
a trip to amsterdamn (not gonna happen)
a trip to brasil (not gonna happen)
a trip to jersey?! (can i go SOMEWHERE?!)
and scarlett johansson

thank you for your time and consideration. i know you're both very busy men but please check back cause i will update this list.


ps - is there anyway that i can get this stuff before christmas?
pps - please, jc and santa, let me know which one of you is gettin' me what so i don't have repeat gifts.
ppps - please don't let me wake up to nothing on the 25th .. i really don't want to have to hurt anyone. thanks.

*editor's note: this is not a gift registry .. its just a joke .. but feel free to send all gifts to 94-38 ... umm hehehe .. just kidding!*

public service announcement:

ms lauren lola from the town of chi has brought it to my attention that i'm missing some key elements from my blog. like midgets, sex and crippling diseases .. but not all at the same time. i refuse to add midgets to my blog, not because i hate them but because they're up their with clowns on my fright-o meter. i also refuse to add crippling diseases because i am a merciful man and would never wish, nor give (if i had the power to) crippling diseases to anyone.
but in an effort to please my audience (who knew i even had one!) i have agreed to add the sex as well as roller derby featuring scantily clad hollywood starlets and murders. but not just senseless murders, because i am a man of principle, and being a man of principle does not allow me to kill at random but only when it is necessary. so, that being said, i will be ending forrest whitaker and shemar moore sooner than later and i will kill random white folks. see i even added racism to the mix. i hope ms lauren lola from the town of chi, and all our viewers, appreciate our efforts to make this blog new, exciting and awe inspiring .. like vh1 celebreality.

thank you,
the management.

*attention: midgets, sexers, crippling diseasers, scantily clad hollywood starlet roller derbiers, murders, white people and the racially senstive. i kid. i joke. get over it.


Dear Scarlett Johansson

I will have your babies.



eleventeen random thoughts.

won. the knicks suck. just in case you read this .. shut up, donnie.
too. i gotta get the life aquatic soundtrack. i have the session with seu jorge and they're dope.
tree. i haven't read the last graphic novel of preacher that i bought. its about the saint of killers origins and it kinda threw me a bit cause i wanna keep reading about jesse and company. i'mma try and knock that out this weekend.
foe. say it ain't so, cosmo.
phife. the clipse album is pretty damn good .. but for some reason, with a couple of exceptions, it just doesn't move me. i'm REALLY starting to think that i've outgrown hip hop. *throws on seu jorge*
sex. sandlot.
seh'm. don's munny talk has me wanting one.
ate. these folk are over here throwing down. i'mma get drunk off food tonight.
nova. finally done with this damn place. walls are painted. new couches moved in. polaroids are back up. place is squeaky clean. no don, this isn't for your next visit. jerk. it feels good, and i like to see my parents smiling, but i'll be happy when i can do all this to my own place.
tin. i need a camera :(
eleventeen. dani glow (its his gay porn name) told me to stop being a punk. he was referring to what/who was behind the khalil gibran and camera blogs. and it got me thinking which led to us (the what/who, not dani glow) talking. no holds barred. three 2 hour phone calls later eyes were a bit more open. more sense was made. and there was actually a laugh or two. honesty is the key and i think someone finally accepts that you don't have to destroy to build.


A Day In The Life Of Bill

(Episode 1, The Closet @ Def Jam.)

So, sometime last week I went to visit everyone's favorite hater, Bill, at his job. After going thru a maze of halls and offices we came upon this office that housed snapple (I had one or maybe two when Bill wasn't looking), bottled water, boxes of envelopes, promo CDs, a fridge and a Rev Run poster.
They've nicknamed this office the closet, and this is where they keep poor Bill. On one side of the room, that Bill would not let me photograph, were all of the employees coats, scarves and hats. And on this rainy New York City day there were galoshes, raincoats and umbrellas scattered about. Bill told me that he'd spend rainy days slipping on the wet floor. There's also a poster for a forgotten Redman album on his wall.
I started to feel bad for him until he told me that he requested these working conditions at all his jobs. Apparently, Bill needs this type of lifestyle to keep his surly demeanor intact. I just can't seem figure out why all this is necessary, all I'd need is the big ass Rev Run poster to keep me in a shitty mood. But that's the way it is. So when you see Bill out and about and he makes smart ass comments or tells you that your mixtape/demo/album is horrible or brags about the exculsive and rare Prince Meets D'angelo, Produced by Jesus Christ album that you'll never own just remember that that's the way Bill .. And God .. Intended it.

Next Weeks Episode: Bill & His Bitches*.


*Bitches is not meant in a disrespectful manner, it is merely the legal
name of one of the branches of Bill's vast empire.

Point of view.

If you're standing at this train station ..
Looking with your own eyes ..
From this distance ..
Things look closer.

But ..
Through the eyes of this camera ..
You feel a great separation.

I wonder ..
Am I seeing things with my own eyes ..
or the camera's.



Then said Almitra, Speak to us of Love.

And he raised his head and looked upon
the people, and there fell a stillness upon
them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to
Though the sword hidden among his
pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks yo you believe in
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as loves crowns you so shall he
crucify you. Even as he is for your growth
so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches
that quiver
in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and
shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred
fire, that you may become sacred bread for
God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you
that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowlegde
become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only
love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover
your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you
shall laugh, but not all of your laughter,
and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes
naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say,
"God is in my heart," but rather. "I am
in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course
of love, for love, if it finds you worthy,
directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil
But if you love and must needs have
desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook
that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own under-
standing of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart
and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate
love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with grati-
And then to sleep with a prayer for the
beloved in your heart and a song of praise
upon your lips.


eleventeen random things

won. i'm reading the prophet. khalil gibran is amazing.
too. my desk is a mess. so is this room. that's why i started cleaning it around midnight and then started painting around 2-3am or so. i'm tired.
tree. i have a lot more clothes than i thought i did.
foe. i hate forrest whitaker. "I hated him so... much... it... it... the... it... the... fee... flames... flames... on the side of my face... heaving... breathless... heaving .." .. if you can tell me where that quote is from you get a prize. and by prize i mean something i don't have to spend money on.
phife. late last week i had wham!'s 'everything she wants' on repeat. this week it's joy in repetition (wink!). i also have a jay z playlist i can't stop listening to.
sex. and how.
seh'm. i'm watching office space as i type this.
ate. i'm glad we got to see each other again. it had been way too long and i don't know if i could have gone without you for much longer. i missed you so much. popeye's chicken, i love you.
nove. i miss my homies from high school. but fools are super busy and don't have time to kick it like that. plus i think we've grown in to much different people then we were back then.
tin. my camera is dead :(
eleventeen. i have a huge idea. i'm gonna need some help but i think this could be pretty interesting. i wonder if this is gonna be another one of my ideas that everyone loves but no one is willing to run with. i need a team. a small team but a team nonetheless.

Today I made a closet.

A lil makeshift thing in a lil nook in the basement.
I dunno ..
I just wanted to.
But I like it.


Tha Blue Carpet Treatment >>> Kingdom Come

I'm listening to Snoop's new solo and while it's not great it has some stellar moments. On 'Think About It'' snoop is spitting with so much more hunger than Jay does on any of Kingdom Come. the baseline on 'Crazy' is so sloppy and leans like a motherfucker, funky as all hell. Why did Nottz sample the bath scene from Coming To America?? why is the E-40, MC Eiht, Golide, Dogg Pound collabo slap so hard? I wonder if Rick Rock did this beat? And why am I in love with the Dr Dre/Snoop/D'Angelo's 'Imagine'?

On the flip side Jay's Kingdom Come is .. EH. Don't get me wrong it's not a terrible album but damnit, I'm selfish and I want some dope music. I love the title track and 30 something. Aside from that 'The Prelude' is cool. 'Lost Ones' is decent. Trouble is not bad and I don't hate 'Show Me What You Got' .. but I do HATE the Neptune produced, Usher/Pharrell featuring 'Anything'. Hate it. Hate it. Hate it. And 'Hollywood' with Beyonce isn't any better. I do give credit where credit is due and I think that Chris Martin, of Coldplay fame, produced 'Beach Chair' is a nice step away from the norm. I'm not sold on the song just yet but at least I can appreciate the fact that he was pushing himself in a different direction.

All in all, Tha Blue Carpet Treatment is not a great album but it sure is fun as all hell.

Wish Jay woulda gave us something fun.

Now I'm waiting for In My Mind 2.0.


I have 131. I owe Mec a few. But I gotta get rolling on some more. So
look out cause I'm gonna dig the camera out and if I haven't gotten you already then I'mma get you soon. Look out.



Dear Jay Z, Sa Ra and Bilal:

THIS is how you make a song about Hollywood.


Black Soap Palace.

Parliament Funkadelic has the best song titles ever. For example ..

Loose Booty
America Eats Its Young
Miss Lucifer's Love
Nappy Dugout
Cosmic Slop
Free Your Mind And Your Ass Will Follow
Hardcore Jollies
You Scared The Lovin' Out Of Me
Good To Your Earhole
Be My Beach
No Head No Backstage Pass
Maggot Brain
Hit It and Quit It
Super Stupid
One Nation Under A Groove
PE Squade/Doo Doo Chasers
Standing On The Verge Of Getting It On
Jimmy's Got A Little Bit Of Bitch In Him
Butt-To-Butt Resuscitation
Take Your Dead Ass Home! (Say Som'n Nasty)
The Electric Spanking Of War Babies
Freak Of The Week
Big Footin'
Mothership Connection
Common Law Wife
Up For The Down Stroke
I Call My Baby Pussycat
Bop Gun (Endangered Species)
The Placebo Syndrome
Mr. Wiggles
(You're A Fish And I'm A) Water Sign
Motor Booty Affair
Pin The Tail On The Funky
May We Bang You
New Doo Review

How can you not love these cats?
How can you not?


Saturday night.

I'm not a fan of partying on weekends in nyc. But my buddies Mr. Brook D'Leau and Ms. Jack Davey were in town so Bella and me decided to go check it out. So we make it out to the show out at PS1 and the door is a mess. We're outside forever before we just decide to call it a loss. I should told Jack to get me on the list with my dumbass.
So then I get a call from BikeMaker's homie B and she tells me that the same thing is going on at canal room for the CIA's lil shindig, so we decide to call it a night.
We end up stretched out on the couch, eating popeye's and indulging in HerbalRemedyTea. I saw a few episodes of City of Men while Bella fell in and out of sleep. And to be quite honest, I couldn't think of a better way to spend my saturday night.
I like fried chicken.


Quote of the day.

"I want to write the great American choose-your-own-adventure novel."

© Harmony Korine

The Basketball Diaries.

Funny how sometimes you mention something, like a movie you haven't seen
in a long time, and it pops up somewhere around you.
Sometime this weekend, Bella and I were talking big name actors and their choice of roles. We both had the same thought about Leonardo DiCaprio, great talent but for some reason he hasn't really done much to move us in awhile. Of course, The Basketball Diaries came up in that convo. His performance as Jim Carroll left me in awe of his acting chops but after that I was rarely blown away.
Yes, his roles as Howard Hughes in The Aviator, Frank Abagnale in Catch Me If You Can and Amsterdam Vallon in Gangs Of New York are worthy of praise, but they just didn't grab me the way that Jim Carroll's tormented and talented junkie did.
So it's 1.30am and I'm laying down, getting ready to call it a night when I come across The Basketball Diaries during the opening credits. So my ass stayed up watching this and jesus I'd forget just how good Leo was in this film. I need to buy this on dvd asap. And to think I started writing a blog about my weekend (weekend blog coming up next) and then this came along.
So thanks to Leo, poetry and heroin I'm up at damn near 4am. And I doubt I'll be going to bed anytime soon cause I'm in the mood to watch Team America.


PS - I can't wait to see Blood Diamond!


CMJ Week, NYC.

It wasn't as hectic as I thought it would be. Well I guess that's kind of a lie since my ass didn't go out too much. I went to Track's Oxy Cottontail performance, Floss @ 88 Delancey, Tanya Morgan @ Southpaw, East Village Radio on friday night, Kid Sister @ Knitting Factory and Tiombe @ 88 Delancey.

That may seem like a lot to do in a week but if you considered that there were a million events per day then you'll see that my ass was a bit of a shut in. But regardless, it was a fun week. Got to hangout with a ton of folk I hadn't seen in awhile, meet some folk for the first time and kick it with a few that I seem to be around quite often. So here's the CMJ roll call ..

DJ Lindsey, DJ Myles and the helpful folk at the soho grand .. I'm coming back Lindsey! Tanya Morgan, Che Grand, Loud Minority, iM, A-Trak, Kid Sister, Flosstradamus (byya!), Nick Catchdubs, Mark Ronson with the crisp trench, Daniel Merriweather, Ms. Safia, Wan, NorthernArc, The Carps, Mama Mec, Ms. Preston, Jnel St. Sophisticated, Spec Boogie, Pepper, Dwine, Kenny, Scott Free, Angelo, Jeru, Elucid, Audible Treats, Aeon, FWMJ, Adrian Martinez, Biscuit Jenkins, Ms. Asya, OxyRoxy, The Bay @ Sway, Ms. Court, Dan Solo, Waajeed, Ms. Lockhart (where the hell was Saadiq??), Ms. Jackie, Ms. Fashion Maven Niki with the fly and sexy trench, and the gal with the bad ass trench outside the soho grand.

And of course, Trackademicks, Mike Baker and DJ Tap 10 of my new team, The Honor Roll.

If I forgot anyone its not cause I hatecha, its cause my memory is the worst. But thanks for making it a fun week, even if my ass ain't come out much.


PS - Brook and Jack, y'all were missed.
PPS - Remember everyone, trenchcoats are sexy.


This ..

Is an inside joke.




My Build-A-Bear Is Gangsta.

He will end you.

Don't be shook ..