A Day In The Life Of Bill

(Episode 1, The Closet @ Def Jam.)

So, sometime last week I went to visit everyone's favorite hater, Bill, at his job. After going thru a maze of halls and offices we came upon this office that housed snapple (I had one or maybe two when Bill wasn't looking), bottled water, boxes of envelopes, promo CDs, a fridge and a Rev Run poster.
They've nicknamed this office the closet, and this is where they keep poor Bill. On one side of the room, that Bill would not let me photograph, were all of the employees coats, scarves and hats. And on this rainy New York City day there were galoshes, raincoats and umbrellas scattered about. Bill told me that he'd spend rainy days slipping on the wet floor. There's also a poster for a forgotten Redman album on his wall.
I started to feel bad for him until he told me that he requested these working conditions at all his jobs. Apparently, Bill needs this type of lifestyle to keep his surly demeanor intact. I just can't seem figure out why all this is necessary, all I'd need is the big ass Rev Run poster to keep me in a shitty mood. But that's the way it is. So when you see Bill out and about and he makes smart ass comments or tells you that your mixtape/demo/album is horrible or brags about the exculsive and rare Prince Meets D'angelo, Produced by Jesus Christ album that you'll never own just remember that that's the way Bill .. And God .. Intended it.

Next Weeks Episode: Bill & His Bitches*.


*Bitches is not meant in a disrespectful manner, it is merely the legal
name of one of the branches of Bill's vast empire.


Anonymous said...

OMG I'd DREAD walking into that closet/office everydamnweekday of my life...

the things we do to keep the hate up.

All you need now, Bill, is a flickering fluorescent light above and someone stealing your personal stapler.

That Rev Run poster would be enough for me to blow it all up.

Anonymous said...

I have 2 annoying interns who i share that room with 3 days out of the week. Trust me, I have enough hate stored up to last the next 5 years.

tia said...

in some odd way this entry makes me miss you guys. awwww :(