dear jesus & santa:

this year i was (somewhat) well behaved. i didn't get arrested. i didn't get pregnant. and i did not smoke crack. that whole guitar thing in denver was self defense .. i swear. i also kept my penis away from random vaginas and drank very little. so please look over my list and bless me with all of my lil' wants and desires.

mason jars (to drink water out of on hot summer days)
a tweed blazer (to get my old man on with)
an earthtoned down or insulated vest (to wear over my tweed blazer on cold winter days, i have a vision damnit)
city of men dvd
issues 1, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 of preacher
shirts, preferably poplin, in classic colors (blues, whites and traditional stripes)
trench coat from uni qlo
black overcoat from wherever makes good black overcoats.
lifetime unlimited metrocard (or a month. or a week. shit, can a fool get a fun pass??)
sexy time pants
sexy time denim
vans & chucks or chucks & vans
some scarves and some gloves
ties (preferably skinny)
mac n cheese, chicken and waffle dinner (please? i'm hungry.)
prescription lenses for my three big ugly glasses that have no lenses at all
a 3 piece boateng suit (not gonna happen)
macbook pro (not gonna happen)
an investor (not gonna happen but lord knows i need it)
a trip to paris (not gonna happen)
a trip to london (not gonna happen)
a trip to amsterdamn (not gonna happen)
a trip to brasil (not gonna happen)
a trip to jersey?! (can i go SOMEWHERE?!)
and scarlett johansson

thank you for your time and consideration. i know you're both very busy men but please check back cause i will update this list.


ps - is there anyway that i can get this stuff before christmas?
pps - please, jc and santa, let me know which one of you is gettin' me what so i don't have repeat gifts.
ppps - please don't let me wake up to nothing on the 25th .. i really don't want to have to hurt anyone. thanks.

*editor's note: this is not a gift registry .. its just a joke .. but feel free to send all gifts to 94-38 ... umm hehehe .. just kidding!*


t510 said...

um...i got you on the trip to jersey!

you can come chill with a funny girl and a surly but amazingly pretty man and their 2 cats

enjoy hours of fun while the man curses one of the cats out for being an asshole. fun to be had by all!

filthy said...

i'm in!